Since I often talk about the importance of getting into the Word, I started a series where I share one scripture or passage of scripture each Wednesday (and let's be honest, maybe Thursday or even Friday) and talk about why it has meant so much to me. I hope it encourages you to get into the Word and to use these scriptures as starting points perhaps, but to also find meaningful things in the Bible on your own as well.
Ever since my first miscarriage I feel like I've been on a roller coaster; highs and lows that I feel are out of my control. But I've noticed there is one thing that keeps me stable, and that is God's Word. Hebrews 4:12 says that it is ALIVE, meaning that we can interact and engage with it! When you open His Word with an open mind, He will fill it as you read and you will walk away feeling encouraged, challenged, peaceful, and joyful no matter your earthly circumstances!
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
| PSALM 30:11 |
This is a hard scripture to talk about today. I'm kind of surprised that I included it on my list of verses to talk about this year for this series. But here goes nothing!
When I was pregnant for the second time I saw a post on Facebook with this verse and it resonated very deeply with me. I had walked through a season of heartache and was truthfully still grieving the loss of our first child, but I was pregnant with our second and I was rejoicing. This verse described exactly how I felt.
For the first time since we had lost our firstborn nine months earlier, I felt more joy than grief. I was giddy with anticipation and excitement. I truly felt like I had been drowning in a sea of grief and this pregnancy was pulling me out for a deep breath of fresh air! I love the Hebrew definitions of the words in this verse:
Loosed: to free
I truly felt as if the Lord had overthrown the grief that encompassed me day and night and had woven me a beautiful new piece of clothing out of joy + gladness! I had been set free from the heavy fog of grief; my tears were starting to dry.
So when I lost that little girl who was being formed in my womb, I lost my joy. Without even realizing it, I had been hanging on too tightly to the circumstantial joy of a positive pregnancy test and not the Joy of my Father. I felt betrayed and I plummeted right back into the sea of grief; soaring to new depths of anger.
I realized early on after that second miscarriage that I only felt true joy when I took time to dwell in the Lord. There is not one person, place, or thing on this earth where I can find the type of joy that I find when I abide in the Lord's presence. A storm can be swirling around me, but dwelling with the Father gives me an eternal perspective that helps me to look beyond my present circumstances.
Since the death of my daughter I've learned (the really hard way) that the source of my joy should be eternal because my hope in eternity never changes even though my circumstances often do. Now, when I read Psalm 30:11, my mind does not get preoccupied with visions of positive pregnancy tests and babies. No, my mind rests on the promises of an eternity with my Savior and King. For it is there that my sackcloth will be replaced one last time with a robe of white and my mourning will end and I will dance forever.
Past Wednesdays In The Word:
Love a Bible for a Friend:
Don't forget to check out what my friend Anne Marie is doing over at The Loved Bible Project! She wrote this sweet post about my weekly scripture posts and how we are teaming up! Each week I will continue to post about a scripture that has helped me in my time of loss and Anne Marie is going to make a free printable that you can find in her Resources page! We encourage you to print it out and spend time soaking in God's Word as you decorate it and then include it in your own Bible or start working on a Loved Bible for a loved one!