Since I often talk about the importance of getting into the Word, I started a series where I share one scripture or passage of scripture each Wednesday (and let's be honest, maybe Thursday or even Friday) and talk about why it has meant so much to me. I hope it encourages you to get into the Word and to use these scriptures as starting points perhaps, but to also find meaningful things in the Bible on your own as well.
Ever since my first miscarriage I feel like I've been on a roller coaster; highs and lows that I feel are out of my control. But I've noticed there is one thing that keeps me stable, and that is God's Word. Hebrews 4:12 says that it is ALIVE, meaning that we can interact and engage with it! When you open His Word with an open mind, He will fill it as you read and you will walk away feeling encouraged, challenged, peaceful, and joyful no matter your earthly circumstances!
I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.
| JOEL 2:25 |
I will restore.
The scripture this week seems very fitting as I come up on the one year anniversary of our second miscarriage. It's been almost two years since we started this journey of parenthood and none of it, literally none of it, has looked how I would have wished or expected it to. While this verse is referring to a literal locust invasion that destroyed all of Israel's crops, I can still relate to the devastation as I read.
I'm sure that for the farmers who lost all of their crop to some dumb bugs, it probably felt as if they'd lost everything. I can relate to that feeling. I think most people can on some level; at some point in our lives we will all go through something that feels like the end of the world to us. Whether that feeling lasts for an hour or a decade, it can be so crippling.
I began researching some background on this passage of scripture today and loved this little tidbit I came across on gotquestions.org:
"When locusts destroyed a crop, they wiped out the seed saved from the previous year, the harvest of the current year, and the seed that would be used the next year. Locust devastation of grape vines and fruit trees would take years to redevelop (Joel 1:12)."
I don't know about you, but that is how both of my miscarriages made me feel. A loss like that doesn't just affect you in the present, it can make you look back and question beliefs you've held your whole life and rip the rug right out from under you. A sudden layer of sadness covers everything in your life and nothing feels the same; you lose your appetite, you cry constantly, and you feel lonely even if you have friends and loved ones surrounding you. And if that all weren't bad enough, it instills a deep fear in you. You begin to wonder if you'll ever be able to have a healthy child and you fear future pregnancies. It affects you for years to come.
BUT! God will restore those years spent mourning your children and fearing the future.
He may not restore everything during your time on earth, but I can promise you that He will restore. He will restore the heartache, the loneliness, the anger, the depression, the empty arms, the anxiety, the tears, the death. He will restore it all because that is Who He is.
Past Wednesdays In The Word:
Love a Bible for a Friend:
Don't forget to check out what my friend Anne Marie is doing over at The Loved Bible Project! She wrote this sweet post about my weekly scripture posts and how we are teaming up! Each week I will continue to post about a scripture that has helped me in my time of loss and Anne Marie is going to make a free printable that you can find in her Resources page! We encourage you to print it out and spend time soaking in God's Word as you decorate it and then include it in your own Bible or start working on a Loved Bible for a loved one!