Recently I was praying and felt like God impressed the answer as I was still in the midst of prayer.
I have been reading Esther Fleece's new book No More Faking Fine (NMFF) and have been learning about the lost language of lament and the powerful healing lament can bring.
I'm a little more than halfway through Esther's book, but have learned so much about lamenting already. Essentially, lamenting is simply expressing honest emotions to God when life is not going as planned. Lament is also a pathway; when you honestly express how you're feeling to God, it opens up the way for Him to come in and work His real healing. And it isn't a prayer about being polite or restrained or holding it all in; it is a broken cry -- our most honest expression of pain.
Our society is super uncomfortable with suffering and pain; we often don't recognize the beauty in sorrow so we try to rush ourselves and others through it. We mistake beauty for only being on the other side of brokenness, but that is just simply not true; we can see God's beauty at depths we never could have imagined when we are in the midst of suffering. As Esther says so beautifully in NMFF, "The Almighty sees our wounds as entry points to do His healing work. God draws close to us in our brokenness (Psalm 34:18)."
Right before I went to bed last night and began praying, I read something in NMFF that really resonated with me in my current season:
This was EXACTLY what I needed to read. I've been having a pity party for myself lately because I felt like God was making me go through a dry desert season and wasn't allowing me to hear His voice. And I truly thought I wasn't hearing His voice until I began to whisper this prayer of lament:
Lord, I hate when I feel like I can't hear You. Please let me hear You, even if it's in a new way and You're teaching me to hear You in other ways.
And immediately I felt like He was telling me that in this current season of my life, He is speaking to me directly through His Word. He uses other ways as well, but lately it has primarily been through His Word. I'm growing and maturing, so He is communicating with me in more mature ways. I can't just expect that He'll always send someone into my life with His comfort ready to bestow each time I need it.
But I can always expect to find comfort in His Word.
I was so caught up on the ways He's always used to communicate with me in the past that I failed to see what He is doing right now. And it cemented in my mind how important it is to be in His Word everyday. I don't know why as humans, or at least for me, we can find a gazillion different things to do instead of reading the sacred Words of God that literally give us LIFE, but it is a struggle nonetheless! I go through phases where I'm in the Word every single day, taking notes and studying the Bible, and then suddenly it's been a week and I realize I've allowed other activities, my attitude, circumstances, etc. to get in the way.