Lettered Hope

Psalm 51:12

FaithJessica Scheks2 Comments

psalm 5112This verse hit me like a ton of bricks a couple weekends ago. It's something that has been on my heart for months and I'm sure I have read this block of scripture countless times. But the part that always stood out to me was two verses prior: "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." I still love that verse. But the power of verse 12 had never really resonated with me until a minister from Lancaster, CA brought it out and spoke on restoring the zeal that many "new" Christians have upon being saved. It's something that has been bothering me because I feel like I don't have as much joy as I should considering I am SAVED from eternal death because Jesus Christ died for me despite being perfect himself.

It's almost like it's such a big concept that it's hard for me to put my small human mind around and fully grasp; like it's too good to be true -- but I want to grasp it more. I want to be noticeably joyful in every moment of my life because Jesus died for all of our moments whether they are good or bad. I want to be in absolute awe + wonder when I think of Jesus. I want the thought of salvation to bring me to joy-filled tears. I want to feel even more unworthy than I already do because I come to more of a realization of what Jesus did for me everyday of my life. I not only want the joy I had to be restored to me, I want more of that joy! I just want MORE Jesus.

Getting more of Jesus is so simply laid out for us in the Bible, yet it is so hard for us to attain. John 3:30 states it plainly:  "He must increase, but I must decrease." I wish it were that simple! Dying to self is arguably the hardest thing that we will face as humans on this side of glory. BUT, it is how we will get to glory. So it's not an option but it's still hard. So I've been praying and asking the Lord a lot lately to restore that joy, to put me in my place and show me how AWEsome He is, and to show me ways that I can get to where I need to be. And the answers I feel like I've gotten back so far have been pretty simple. I NEED MORE JESUS! In every way possible, I need more of him. And just as John 3:30 states, to get more of him, there must be less of me.

I can't just pray and ask for more of Jesus without doing anything on my end. I have to empty myself to make more room for him. I am praying for a pure + clean heart with the knowledge that my heart is divided. This concept became so real to me after hearing a minister describe that the opposite of a pure heart is a divided heart. I suddenly had this image of my heart:

divided heart

I envisioned a pie chart in the form of a heart with all of the things that I sometimes, even if it's just momentarily, allow to take priority over my relationship with Jesus. I need to empty my heart of my desire for those things over Jesus. I can still enjoy them, but I have to be so careful that they don't begin to override the importance of Jesus in my life! I'm reminded of the quote I blogged about several weeks ago: "Anything you are unwilling to let go of becomes an idol." ANYTHING. Something as simple and innocent as coffee could become an idol if you refused to give it up for the Lord. I don't feel like He's asking me to give up coffee, but if He were just for the sake of testing my faith, I better be able to give it up! So I'm trying to prepare my heart, because I want it to look like this:

pure heart

I want my heart to be ALL FOR JESUS! I don't even want it to momentarily beat for something other than my Savior, Lord, and King!

So in case you hadn't noticed, I changed the name of my blog! It was originally just my name because I couldn't think of anything that was catchy enough and hadn't already been taken. I also wanted my blog name to be meaningful. And upon hearing this scripture I knew it would be my blog name, and my {future} Etsy shop name {RestoringTheJoy}, and my Instagram username {@restoringthejoy}. So this post gave you all of the insight into the name change!